Nerd Talk: Let's hope Artificial Intelligence always stays this dumb

Don't worry, for now robots are still stupid.

May 31, 2017
Artificial intelligence


What’s up with the all this talk about artificial intelligence taking our jobs?

While AI combined with a childhood of watching Terminator 2 leaves me a super skeptical adult human, the current robot threat remains small.ess just give up and hope for a Wall-E future where you get to be rotund and full of cola.

DARPA´s Real life Bender is still Beta

They get drunk now?! Ok, well maybe it’s not that small. But still, full on nuclear holocaust started by the robots to destroy the humans seems a bit further away. Just look at how dumb AI still is when it comes to acting like a human. This neural network tasked with making new paint colors and more importantly naming them doesn’t even have a clue.

LOL Turdly, Stanky Bean, Dope, Dorkwood, Bank Butt - all great names, maybe not for the paint aisle at Home Depot though…

The researcher behind this discovery, Janelle Shane, fed 7,700 Sherwin Williams paint colors, names and RGB values (Red Green Blue) into her program to see what would happen and we were rewarded.

As researchers tend to do, Shane runs other neural net experiments. Take a sweeter side of things, this AI that tried to learn about romance: pickup lines. As it turns out, the challenges of nuanced emotional language are significantly more difficult for stupid machines with no hearts to grasp. The researcher taught the AI to understand typical structure of pickup lines “You must be a, because...” and “Hey baby, wanna…” but it went so poorly that they actually become sometimes sweet.

I want to get my heart with you.
I have a cenver? Because I just stowe must your worms.
You must be a triangle? Cause you’re the only thing here.
I’m not on your wears, but I want to see your start.
Hey baby, you’re to be a key? Because I can bear your toot?
I don’t know you.
I have to give you a book, because you’re the only thing in your eyes.
Are you a candle? Because you’re so hot of the looks with you.
I want to see you to my heart.
You look like a thing and I love you.

Now go back and read this in a Borat or Russian voice.

Finally, Janelle Shane has done many of these experiments including superhero names (the Red Fart is a personal favorite) and Irish Drinking songs, but her latest work is gonna take the most fun part out of starting a band: naming it. She fed her net a list of 1,000 metal band names, their sub-genre, and the region they come from. Shane then let the AI start to generate it’s own brootal band names. This time, the bot does a shockingly good job AND these names at the time were unregistered.

Dragonred of Blood - Death Metal - Indonesia
Deathhouse - Melodic Death Metal - Brazil
Vultrum - Folk/Black Metal - Germany
Deathcrack - Death Metal - Mexico
Stormgarden - Black Metal - Germany
Swiil - Progressive Metal/Shred - United States
Inhuman Sand - Melodic Death Metal - Russia
ChaosWorge le Plague - Doom Metal - Brazil
Inhum the Thorg - Black Metal - Slovenia
Chaosrug - Black Metal - Mexico
Jazzy - Heavy Metal - United States <- wtf?
Sux - Heavy Metal/Hard Rock - Chile
Squeen - Doom Metal - Colombia
Death from the Trend - Black Metal - Croatia
Shuck - Death Metal - Israel
Dragorhast - Heavy Metal/Hard Rock - Germany
Verb - Black Metal - Norway
Black Clonic Sky - Black Metal - Greece
Snee - Thrash/Death Metal - Brazil
Sht - Symphonic/Heavy Metal - United States
Sun Damage Omen - Symphonic Progressive Metal - France

SUX!!! Hahaha that’s the best band name, probably too late to claim it by this point.

With robots still great at doing industrial jobs and not so great at being humans, we still have art on our side. I mean, soon they’ll learn how to do that. I guess just give up and hope for a Wall-E future where you get to be rotund and full of cola.